The Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance, Volume 1
Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey

reviewed by Jessi Hafer

Did you know…that giraffes first came to Earth from Neptune via giant conveyor belts?
This and all sorts of other fascinating “factoids” can be found in Giraffes? Giraffes!, which is probably one of the funniest books I’ve ever read, and I have gravitated towards a fair share of silly books in recent years. Giraffes? Giraffes! tells the story of Fredrick, the giraffe who shaved his fur and tried to live as a human. It also answers “Rarely Asked Questions,” such as “Where’s the Giraffe Hall of Fame again?” You get the idea. I don’t want to give too many examples of the wonders of giraffe history, science, and economics assembled in this volume because the fun of the book really comes from the delightfully weird and random. It catches you off guard, makes you laugh out loud, and compels you to read all too many pages aloud to people who are trying to do other things.

To compliment all the, uh, useful information, the book includes illustrations, photos, and graphs. One of my favorites shows a pie chart that, against the grand tradition of pie charts, has percentages that don’t even add to 100%. There are also lovely and haunting (not really) photos showing simulations of giraffes fighting their opponents, the “monsters of the deep.” Be sure to read the copyright page. Also check out the flashcards included in the pocket in the back of the book, which show you how to identify a giraffe, talk to a giraffe, and so on.

Giraffes? Giraffes! is one of three books currently available in the series, the other two being Your Disgusting Head and Animals of the Ocean, in Particular the Giant Squid. Dr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey’s introduction explains that she is the “world-famous scientist and explorer you have heard so much about,” and that she and her husband (“who tells adequate knock-knock jokes”) have traveled around the world writing their findings to create the “Haggis-On-Whey series of Unbelievable Brilliance.” Upon further investigation (i.e., Google and Wikipedia), I discovered that the series is actually written by author Dave Eggers (A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, You Shall Know Our Velocity!, and What is the What) with his younger brother Christopher Eggers.

I can’t help but suspect that if Monty Python had written a pseudo-science book, it would have probably looked a lot like this. As such, keep this book away from any kids you know who are working on science projects. That said, this would make a fun and unexpected coffee table book with which to entertain or worry unsuspecting guests. Otherwise, just make sure you read this in a place where you won’t get into too much trouble for laughing loudly or often.