1. If life gives you lemons, ferment them.
2. School's for suckers, bring crack back.
3. Spring will bring good things this month, but nothing for you.
4. This is not your month. Unfortunately, and with deep regret, It is my duty to let you know, your days are numbered; but only if you use a calendar.
5. Remember when you were supposed to BE somebody? You actually had plans for your life...what happened?
6. Get rich quick. Purchase money.
7. If you truly want a fulfilling life, don't have children. If you do, give them to someone whose life is already a mess.